Welcome to Animal Fact Friday! I’ve said before that our goal here is to inform and entertain and I don’t think anything can embody that better than Animal Fact Friday. I thought it would be helpful to share the origin story of my love for animal facts so you can get a feel for where I am coming from with this nonsense.

Back in the day, me and my buddy Duckworth (yes, that is his real last name) were aiming, or AIMing, or talking on AIM. I’m really not sure what we even called it back then? For anyone sub-23 years old, you know when you watch a video mocking the early internet age with dial up access and the screeching noise etc? Well we used AOL back when that was a thing to get on instant messenger. Instant messenger was texting, with  few extra features and a few drawbacks. One of the advantages was “away messages”. This is the equivalent to auto-reply when you are out of the office, except instead of telling every  one that you’re gone until next Tuesday and to direct all questions to Brian, it was used for witty responses, song lyrics, cheesy sayings that you hoped your crush would read, or the infamous BRB. Remember BRB? Those were the days.

Anyways, the origins of our love for animal facts is sort of like the naming of San Diego. Obviously, we all know that it is Latin for a whale’s vagina even though many people think it is named after Saint Diageo, whoever he is (source: Ron Burgundy). What I’m saying is they are a little unknown.

However it went down, we were on AIM, chatting away about nonsense. No one knows who fired the first shot, but it became a face off of animal facts. We shot them back and forth as fast as we could find them. Each more fascinating than the last.

BAM. All polar bears are left-handed.

POOM. Giraffes have 18 inch long tongues.

No need for background. The statement was pure fascination. Eventually, our competition reached a peak and we decided to join forces. One day, every week, we jumped on AIM and shared facts with each other about one specific animal, each trying to find a more interesting tidbit.

It reached a pinnacle in high school on Thursdays. Everyone began to recognize Animal Fact Wednesday as a weekly religion (we went to Catholic school) and expected us to come in with a full arsenal the following day. We even had a math class together in which the teacher allowed us to share a handful of animal facts to start off the class. As with all high school love, it burned fast and bright. Eventually, it trickled out in college but we never lost our love for a good animal fact. Randomly, over the following years, we had a secret arsenal of fact nuggets that we could drop on a moments notice. You wouldn’t believe the faces you get when telling a roomful of people exactly how fast a bald eagle can fly or how many chinchillas it takes to make a fur coat.

I have asked the GOAT Duckworth to celeb shot some of these posts on Fridays and share with all of you some great animal facts because, let’s face it, we love that shit. It’s not all about science, sometimes you just need a laugh. That is really the goal here. To learn something interesting and laugh while you’re doing it. If you remember an interesting fact, great. If you remember something stupid related to the fact, awesome.

Enjoy the first Animal Fact Friday. It was originally Animal Fact Wednesday but for logistical purposes it will be Occasional Animal Fact Friday.

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