One of the biggest decisions you can make in your adult life is to step up your bed game. There are tons of companies out there now that will send you a foam mattress that miraculously fits into a small box at a decent price. Granted, seeing a queen mattress unfold out of a box that you couldn’t fit in yourself is pretty damn impressive. But there is more to it than that. You’ll buy several cars in your life, maybe have several jobs, possibly a few kids, a bunch of sofa sets, table sets, etc. The point is you have a lot of things that you get to experience a few times. But most people only buy a couple of beds in their entire life. Aside from houses and a spouse, there aren’t many decisions that you will make fewer than to get a new bed. So the pressure is on. As an avid waterbed enthusiast, I thought it was my job to inform the public and maybe sway them to a wavier lifestyle.

  1. It’s Good For Your Back.
    •  Don’t be fooled by some of the information you find out there about waterbeds being bad for backs. Doctor Travis of the North Tampa Spine and joint Center has some interesting perspectives about how they are actually good for your back. A lot of the information on waterbeds is actually outdated. Sure, they were once wild sloshy sacks of water which obviously wasn’t good for the old lumbar. But now they have mid and even no wave waterbeds that barely move around. As a bonus, they often come with a heater (which I’ll get to next) that can be very therapeutic.
  2. It Can Be Heated
    •  Do you get cold at night and wish your bed could be heated to keep you nice and toasty all night long? Well here is your solution. Waterbeds can be heated to a comfortable temperature to keep you warm or really crank it up for those cold winter months and not worry about heating your room overnight.
  3. It Can Be Kept Cool
    •  If you’re the kind of person that gets warm over night and is always throwing covers off of you to cool down then a nice cool waterbed is the option for you. Not only can you heat a waterbed, but you can turn off the heater and allow it to become the coolest, most soothing sleeping platform you’ve ever plopped down on. This is how I keep my waterbed and it is the greatest feeling ever when I got into bed. It cooled off my body, relaxed and calmed my muscles and joints, and is a feeling I long for every night.
  4. It’s More Fun For Making Whoopie
    •  Let’s get this out of the way for you heathens. Sex on a waterbed is just better. It allows you to get into more interesting positions because it caves a little underneath you and allows for more room to operate. Everyone knows that “the motion of the ocean” is an important euphemism in sex, and a waterbed provides great assistance in achieving the ideal ocean-like motion.
  5. It’s Cheaper To Buy
    •  Beds are expensive as hell. Sure, you can spend less than $750 on a crappy full size mattress that comes with a lousy box spring and plop it on a weak metal frame. But if you’re trying to become a fully functioning adult, your bed-game has to be top tier to earn some respect. You’re going to spend 25%-30% of your entire life in bed, so wouldn’t you want to make it a wise investment? If you’re looking at a comfortable queen or king size mattress and box spring with a nice bed frame and headboard you better be ready to dish out some cash. An incredible mid-wave waterbed with a heater and a frame that has drawers underneath and storage in the headboard can cost the same as ONLY a high end mattress. If you value your sleep, but also value your bank account, consider a waterbed next time you’re in the market.
  6. It Lasts Longer Than A Regular Mattress
    •  I just mentioned how much time people spend in bed, and the fact that you can wind up spending insane amounts on a bed. So wouldn’t you want that investment to last? A mattress is said to last 8 to 10 years, maybe you can stretch it a little further if you want bang for your buck. Growing up, we had two waterbeds in our house. Both were equipped with heaters, nice padding, gorgeous framework and storage surrounds. Both have lasted 25+ years. My parents put maybe $100 in over the years for chemicals to keep the water clean and some patch kits for the corners. So that waterbed that cost 25% less than a comparable bed set up will also easily last 2 to 3 times as long, if not more.
  7. The Shock Of Someone Unexpectedly Hitting A Waterbed Is Priceless
    •  This one is just for you. You made the wise decision to get a waterbed. I know you’ll want to brag about it, but try not to. When the opportunity presents itself, find a way to get someone to test out the bed. Remember that time you went to take a sip of a drink expecting one thing and getting something completely different? Remember in college when you tried to take a quick swig of water and wound up gulping down some vodka? It’s like that, but with their whole body. Priceless.
  8. It Is Cooler Than A Regular Mattress
    •  That’s just a fact. A waterbed makes you cooler. 23% cooler according to a statistic I made up myself.

*****Important update to this article. I wrote the draft for this over a year ago before I started putting my work online. About 9 months ago my wife, the greatest most thoughtfullest awesomest wife in the world, started secretly saving up so she could surprise me with a chunk of change that we would use to get a waterbed. Obviously it was going to take a while but when she called the store to ballpark how her savings were stacking up they informed her that they were retiring and closing the store for good. Bad news? No, great news. We are now the proud owners of a fantastic waterbed that we got almost 70% off. And she is a converted waterbed enthusiast.*****

Advertisements